Your Love is Extravagant

There are many times in my life where I come to a point where I realize that I don't have it "all together". Whether that means that God makes known to me the sins I have committed, or if someone I trust rebukes me of my sins. Then there is this voice at the back of my head that tells me how I should have never started doing what I was doing for God in the first place when all I'll do is fail again. Then I dwell up on all those thoughts and eventually making me rethink about why I do the things I do in life. Then sometimes even making drastic changes in my life and quitting things I think I am not good at or thinks that God made a mistake in picking me to do what He called me to. This is the viscous cycle my mind goes through each time I am disappointed about how sinful I really am. Truth is everyone is sinful just like I am and over the years I had to realize that I’m not alone in that struggle. So I shouldn't feel like what I am going through is strange and unreal to many people. And recently God has just been speaking to my heart about the real meaning of the cross. I know we all know the story of Jesus dying on the cross for our sins and paying that price so we can be with God for eternity, but something clicked in my mind like never did before. I finally understood that no matter how bad I messed up in life He would continue to drench me with His blood and cleans my heart each time I asked for it. Not saying I didn't realize this before, but for some reason It made more sense, and the fact that I even had the strength to turn from my sins each time was cuz of Him! His love is so extravagant that nothing in this world can separate us from His love. He loves us soo much that even if we sin He'll forgive us, not saying that we shouldn't make the effort to turn from them, but to honestly repent and ask God for forgiveness. Even if life gets you down I am reminded that it says in Isaiah 41 that He will renew our strength and will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. And I get excited about that! It's like having never ending energy! Like being able to do what He has asked us above and beyond what we expect cuz He is out hope! He is our strength! I shouldn't be looking down at myself pitying the sins I have committed and decide that living for Him isn't good enough cuz I fail at it all the time. No, I should get back up on my feet ask for forgiveness and fight for battle again! I have new strength now! I can fight whatever the enemy throws at me! So the next time you are going through a tough patch be reminded of God's strength that comes with being renewed in His love. :)

Moving Makes Me Sick!

When one moves to another country the newness of the environment doesn't always settle well. I think culture shock alarms not only our brain, but our physical body as well. Over the past few weeks I have discovered many things my delicate little stomach doesn't approve of. I'm always up for something new (expect for if I've already tried it and dislike the taste of it already…) it's just too bad that my belly doesn't share the same opinion. Food was the least of my problems when I first got here to Korea, I was so surprised how modern it was and how much it's changed since I left. I had to get this electronic key chain that I had to load with money for it to become my bus/subway ticket. All I would have to do is scan it through scanner thing and it pays for my ride just like that! I found it cool at first, but having the deficiency in various electronic items I couldn't figure out how to load money in through their computer machine. It took me a while to get it but now I can do it in my sleep! One major problem I had being an experienced Egyptian half sidewalk/street walker was the fact that there are stop lights with cross walks here! I couldn't just run for my life across the road hoping the next taxi won't run me over like it did back home. I actually had to wait! Like wait till the red light turns to green THEN cross over. I've had several experiences where I was pretty much oblivious to everything and anything (just like I was back in Egypt cuz apparently no matter what you do there you get harassed) that I crossed to the other side of the road only to realize that it was on a red light! No wonder no one was walking with me! That's still something I have to get used to, hopefully it won't take that long though cuz I might end up in the hospital a few times before I end my freshman year of college. Jet lag wasn't helpful either, since I'm a morning person I generally wake up at 6 am no matter what time zone I'm in; so moving half way across the world just totally messed up my sleeping habits. And I was constantly exhausted the first week I came. Constant fatigue plagued over me as I tried to find classrooms, listen to introductory speeches and so on and so forth. I'm sure for all of you who have moved at least once in your life to a foreign country experienced what I am talking about. After about a two weeks starting college I began to notice how I felt so alone in such a grown up world. I didn't think I could get use to all this. It was defiantly hard getting used to the pace of living alone not really knowing anyone, going places by myself, no one to talk to for most of the time. Everything was sinking in the fact that I was in a new culture and all alone with no family or friends I could just stop by and hang out with. It was very difficult for me, especially when it came to my spiritual life and I didn't exactly have that support I used to get from my family, youth group leaders, friends, or MSC parents. I was starting to head downhill fast in my Spiritual walk. Since I couldn't really "express myself" like I used to back home I began to wonder and question God about His plans and why He brought me here to begin with. I started rethinking a lot about God's promises for me. If He really promises to not harm me but to give me a hope and a future why do I feel all this pain and depression? Thoughts like those circulated in my mind as my head and my heart fought over the issue regularly. I ended up talking to a good friend about this issue and he described my situation so perfectly that it helped me see what I was going through clearly. He said that "our bodies get sick when we are in a new place cuz it's not used to the sickness there, same spiritually." And I knew that all the newness will ware off soon enough and that God's promises always comes true not one has failed like it says in Joshua 23:14. So even though the culture shock might make my stomach ache from the new food or get lost in the subway station on my way to somewhere or even get attacked by the enemy constantly for moving here and obeying God. There's one thing I know for sure, is that God will help me get over the newness of things and He will always be there to guide me and protect me each step of the way. So I really don't need to be afraid about my future, cuz I know He's not there to harm me, but to give me wonderful blessings beyond my comprehension as long as I delight myself in Him. :)

How Great is Our God

God does amazing things if we just put our hope in Him :) I can testify to that with what just happened tonight alone. I'll go back a bit for some of you who don't know much of my journey here to college. 

It all started when God told me to go to Korea for college instead of Liberty. I questioned Him a lot around that time and I still didn't get a full picture of what He wanted and He wouldn't say anything to me either. So I prayed that if I get into this particular college in Korea and if all works out then He deff. wants me there. Long story short after tons of miracles and God's amazing hand over the whole process I was able to get in and get everything I needed to go to Korea. With that said as most of you who have read my past posts, you would have realized that I was going through a series of hardships that just kept on piling up through the days. I had to ask God over and over again to deliver me from that and to give me peace. As I continued to pray for a single Christian friend just to spur me on or to help me through the hard days when I am being attacked cuz of my faith, God heard my cries. Even way before I arrived here when I was back in my room in Egypt just praying and asking for guidance for the new life ahead of me. Through a series of literally miraculous occurrences I found a Christian campus ministry meeting at our campus that was advertised at one of our school buildings. I prayed about it and knew God wanted me to go. When I went there even on the first encounter with one of the leaders she began to tell me how I was an answer to their prayer and how they have been praying for the international division of our university. She said that God spoke to her in a vision and told her that she would bring about student leaders that don't need to be trained but have a passion for Christ already in their hearts and she said I was one of them! That was a confirmation on the promises that God has spoken in my heart months before arriving. He knew I was going to be there to worship with other believers who love Him like I do. I cried through worship just singing "How great is our God" declaring the fact that He really does move and works daily. The talk was amazing! and it blew me away about how they are so committed in challenging each and every one of us in our faith and growing deeper with Christ that year. They also believe strongly in the power of prayer and how it heals and visions were spoken throughout the whole time as if it was normal to them! I knew this was an area of my life that God has been wanting to grow me in for awhile now and He has put me in the right place at the right time to do what He has called me to do. :) May His name forever be praised for He is the God that hears our cries and is faithful to those who seek Him. He will never leave us nor forsake us :)

This would be also something I would encourage you guys to be praying about. I really want to see people's lives change here in my campus. :)

Originally written on Sept. 14, 2010

First Day in Korea

I was tired and a bit cranky cuz I've been traveling since the beginning of August and my crazy month of busy things to do and travel a lot was about to end. But as I looked at the monitor and saw us flying towards the place I once called home my heart filled with excitement. I sat there just taking in every bit of what the screen could show me of this new adventure I was about to embark on. I was over flowing with joy to see so much rain outside my window! Excitement filled every part of my body as I waited impatiently to land on Korean soil once again. Then all the joy suddenly vanished in a blink of an eye when I got off the bus near the campus only to find that my luggage was ridiculously heavy to drag to a nearby a taxi pick up place. Rain kept on pouring as my mom and I tried to find a place to get a cab with no umbrellas. The weather reflected the gloomy state of my heart as I kept praying in my mind for God to help us get through all this. When we got there 3-4 taxi drivers refused us cuz of how big the luggage was (blame my books >.>). So I kept on praying hard, then just when I was about to lose all hope a nice taxi driver took us to where we had to go and rest of the night went smoothly. Hoping in the Lord is never a bad thing, He always takes care of His children no matter what the circumstance, and that's a promise I'm beginning to learn over and over again while I am here in college. :)

Beyond Words

So today I was listening to "Beyond Words" by Tenth Avenue North and it just made me think of how faithful God is/has been through this whole college transition phase. I'll post a bit of the song lyrics here so ya'll will kinda get an idea of what I'm getting at. 

Well if you only knew the pain that I've been through
Since when did it become all about you
As you can see right from the start I've said the truth
And if the truth means nothing to you
Then what am I supposed to do?

And I'll still love you
Beyond what words can say
I'll take your every suffering moment
And bring a better day

 
Each time I hear the last bit I keep remembering how much I've been "suffering" through this transition period. I didn't think it would be THIS hard to move to another country where you would have no friends, family, and a whole new culture you don't understand expect so much from you. I have no idea why God wanted me here, and I still don't fully understand it yet either, but I know that He has a purpose. Just because bad things happen in our lives doesn't mean we have to let go of everything we believe and think that would make things better. To be honest trying to figure out life on our own is WAY harder than if we simply just trust God. Cuz He knows everything, He knows where we are headed and if we trust Him we don't have to be afraid of that. I know through this hard time God is making me stronger, as problems come my way I think of them as opportunities to trust God. He's going to take me places I would have never imagined, and down paths beyond my comprehension! Only if I'm willing to deny myself and let Christ live within me. God promises us that He will take our pain away, because He has already bought it with a price, all we have to do it give it up to Him. Just like in the song it says "I'll take your every suffering moment and bring a better day" and it's sooo true! I am a living witness to that amazing power! He literally took all my burdens and fears; I could feel my heart lighten from a weight load of depression. If Jesus can take the load off my heart I'm sure He can do it in yours too! So I encourage you guys to turn to Him with EVERY problem you have, because He really is more than enough for us! I used to think that was just a good saying people said to help others get through hard times, but I have personally experienced it! And it's awesome! So I encourage you guys to do the same! It's deff. worth is in the long run and you will be rewarded. :)