Reflection from a Year

It was around this time last year when I headed out to college for the first time.  Everything was new, unfamiliar, and confusing. I had no idea what I was doing or getting myself into. Being called to a country and not having a community to help me out was very difficult. But God had it all planed before I even had a glimpse of it.

I remember who I was when I first moved here. I found myself looking for different things in all the wrong places. I put my hope in people that did not fulfill my expectations. I was left disappointed...

As our ministry director spoke about the Emmaus road on Tuesday night, I am reminded of my first days here. oh btw for those of ya'll who don't know, Emmaus is the name of our campus ministry here in Korea. It was our first large group meeting of the semester and our director Erin spoke. Many people came out to check out what we were about and so she thought she'd explain why we were even called Emmaus to being with. She explained that it comes from Luke 24 "The Road to Emmaus" where the disciples encounter Jesus as they were walking down the road, but they didn't realize it was Him. This happened after Jesus died and rose again. The disciples, at this point, were left disappointed because they had hoped that Jesus would be the one to redeem Israel (verse 21). To their dismay, He died, (from their point of view anyways) They were just so disappointed because they put their hope in Jesus and He didn't push through with it.

That reminded me of my own walk when I first came to Korea. I knew God wanted me to come here, and do the things He has called me to do, yet I was feeling like I was all alone in this big world. I remember telling myself I wasn't ready for college and that I was so far away from people who truly loved me. It was hard for me to accept that I would be all alone from now on. I didn't know how hard it was to go grocery shopping, doing laundry, cleaning, and studying all by myself. I felt so detached from the world as if I was just another person in a sea of faces. Even though I was surrounded by people most of the time I felt like I was in my own little world. This wasn't what I expected college to be, where was all the fun things people told me about? The Revivals that happens on campuses, the many lives that get saved, the hanging out with friends all day long, and not to mention the "ultimate sleep over ever!  "Where was all that? I remembered wondering if God left me in the dust never to experience anything good again. None of my expectations were met and I was left disappointed...

But then later down the road to Emmaus, after the disciples expressed the way they felt, they had fellowship with Jesus, then realized it was Him all along, but before they could do anything about it He disappears!

Our Ministry Director said that it’s as if disappointment blocked the disciples' eyes from seeing Jesus being right there before them. And honestly I could relate well to that. But then what the disciples didn't realize was that Jesus did not only come to redeem Israel, but the whole world.

I know that my disappointment blocked me from seeing Jesus those past few months of being a freshman. It kept me from seeing the whole picture like the disciples did. I would have not known that God would shift my heart as I walked with Him. In verse 32 the disciples asked each other "Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the Scriptures?" And that’s exactly what God did during my first year of college. I would have never guessed when I flew in to Korea that the bigger picture He had for me would look like this. He has given me an amazing community to help me grow in Him daily. I have been blessed with amazing friends, but they are pretty much my siblings. God is always true and faithful to His promises and like He said, He will never leave us nor forsake us. No matter how tough life gets, He's always got us. I am thankful and grateful for every second of my time here. Every moment of everyday He had already planned out for me. All I had to do was trust Him.

So no matter how crazy things might seem like in the natural world, God’s plan is always far greater than ours. :)