A New Dispensation

I feel like no matter where I go or no matter what I do I am walking in a new Dispensation! I see everything around me so clearly, I don't feel right about doing some of the things I used to do, I even felt different about the clothes I had in my closet. Everything feels SO new! After hearing bomb revelations at last weekend's church retreat, I truly believe that I am walking in a new level. I can't go back to my old way of thinking even it I tired. The thoughts of not feeling loved, or thinking that I don't belong feels like thoughts of years back. I can't believe how much a weekend can change one person.

A few weeks back I remembered feeling like I was in a weird state. I couldn't feel or talk to God like I used to. I would only hear His voice from time to time and it wasn't even as clearly as before. I thought something was so wrong with me. I thought I had to keep doing more quiet times or pray more often, but then I had to remember that my identity wasn't based on performance. My purpose in life was just to be loved by God. I knew all that, but why was I still feeling like I wasn't getting the messages at my church to heart. "What was wrong with me?!" was the constant cries I had in my head. For a whole month of being a Student Leader for our campus ministry, I just felt so weird. When I talked to people I felt like I was just doing the same thing over and over again and saw no fruit. It was awesome to see how God started working so incredibly in the campus ministry itself, but for me I honestly didn't feel anything.

It wasn't until Pastor Erin spoke at our campus ministry that just broke that mindset off of me. She talked about how usually when we are in a a funk that is usually because we are breaking through another level. We might feel like we are going through a shaking, but the truth is we are about to go into a new level! She continued with using the image of an airplane and how it goes through turbulence right before entering a level then comes peace. She says when turbulence happens the best thing to do is to actually speed up rather than slow down. Because if you slow down only two things can happen. a)the plane will crash or b) it can only go for so long in that certain speed. Then she connected it with our Spiritual walk. She said that when we are experience a shaking in our lives the answer is not to back out of church or people, but to speed up and keep running after God, then we will experience that new level. 

Right when she said that something broke off of me. Suddenly everything I have been feeling since the beginning of the semester started to make sense. God is taking me to a new level. A level of intimacy with Him that I have never experienced before. He is going to use me in ways I have never seen before. It didn't matter if I didn't feel it, because it's already there. Then I began to realize that there was a reason why I was the only one out of the other student leaders that was able to go on that retreat with some of the church people to minister to middle/ high school kids. Or why I was lead to talk to many girls about my passions, or why I kept getting prophecies about that particular aspect of my life. I felt like all the random puzzle pieces I got from God were starting to show the big picture. 

It was only a glimpse, but with the amazing things He constantly does in my life every day, it's impossible to think that there won't be any more.

So if you are going through a shaking or trying time in your life, just remember that you are about to break through a new level! He wants to increase you in a way you have never felt before! So just continue to seek Him in all that you do, and you will reap peace beyond you own understanding. :)