That's Right! I Already Have It!

So a situation this week , caused me to start up my blog again. I totally forgot why I started my blog in the first place. I wanted to share the experiences of my everyday life and bring hope to others around me. I forgot the joys of writing and hearing people blessed by what God shows me every single day. :)

So lately I’ve been going in and out of the hospital lately because of a mosquito bite that started getting infected and I had to get surgery for it (don’t worry it wasn’t anything major. It was like a 3 min surgery) I’m ok now. But this past week after eating at a Korean barbeque place for one of my friends’ birthday party I realized once I got home I got an allergic reaction to something I ate that night. The next morning the pain from my insect bite was getting unbearable so I had to go to the hospital to get it checked up. When I went to get my bite checked up the doctor saw the allergic reaction spread all over my leg. He asked if I was ok and I told him I got bit by a mosquito at the restaurant (which is what I thought I had). Before surgery I had to get three shots thinking it was anesthetic and just went on with surgery. The next day my allergic reaction spread all over to my neck so I decided to get it checked out and went to the clinic at school. They asked me a bunch of questions and gave me medicine. I had to get a checkup later that day because of my surgery and I asked my doctor if I can take my allergy medicine with the medicine I am currently drinking for recovery. He said he gave me shots for my allergies yesterday and asked if my allergies got better. I looked at my arm and realized it was much better compared to this morning. (Yes this conversation was all conducted in Korean and yes I was very proud of myself ^^)

That’s when it hit me. Many times in our Christian walks we think that when we see a sickness, or a negative pattern in our lives we want to anxiously fix it ourselves. We want to go strive to do more Quiet Time more, or pray more, (which is definitely not a bad thing) but I feel like these are things I do out of the mentality that I will somehow get a “quick fix” after doing it.  The more I did it I found that it won’t fully satisfy if you aren’t full in His presence. I realized that when I am in His presence as I get to know Him and He shows me the things that He has already given me. Like for instance I’ve been struggling with patience, instead of thinking I got to be more patient, I got to work on this work on that, read a verse to help me get through the next hour, I am realizing that being in His presence is waay more important. Being in His presence allows me to just sit and be. That’s the place where I get recharged and get revelations of His heart for that day. It is also the place where He shows me the things He’s already given me. This is where He shows me that I already have patience because the Holy Spirit is already inside of me! I don’t have to work for it, it’s just about unlocking it by putting it into practice in my life.

                Just like my allergic reaction I went to go seek out more medicine not knowing I was already being healed from the inside. In the same way I am reminded that my healing doesn’t come from me trying to “fix me” but rather from the Healer Himself. :)