As most of you know my journey to college wasn't exactly a smooth transition; yet in all my brokenness God still used me for His Kingdom. I felt alone in my struggles it seemed like everyone else around me had it "all together". It wasn't until a few weeks later I got to know three other girls who were going through just as much of a hard time as me. Together we hung out and began to develop friendships. One of the girls was actually a Christian to my surprise and together we prayed for each other in hard times. Besides her I was also supported by the college fellowship I had here on campus each week. I knew that God was working in my heart as I interacted with people there as well. Each week He brought a new perspective in my walk with Him. He allowed me to see areas I needed to work on and how much He loves me despite all that I have done.
Though hard times came, God used the support of people around me and gave me strength to overcome it all. I was still processing in everything that happened from the retreat over the weekend trying to see what simple things I can begin doing to deepen my relationship with God. I felt like I was still soaking in every little thing that happened over the past three days. I woke up Tuesday morning going through the normal routine for the day getting up, getting ready for school, going to class that kind of thing. It was basically like any normal day, nothing out of the ordinary except being filled with SO much JOY from the retreat. I continued to think about the things we talked about and the prayers that have been prayed over me. It definitely kept a smile on my face through the day. As usual after our Korean class my girl friends and I headed out to get dinner. We always did this on Tuesday nights then by seven o'clock we all go our separate ways and I would head off to my youth fellowship. On that particular day we saw some of the guys from the fellowship eating there. I greeted them as they walked to their separate tables. So the girls and I had our "normal" girl talk conversations (whatever normal really means in our little world of UIC students, ok it was more like tons of inside jokes and laughter every few seconds) while having dinner. I love having girl times; it's just fun being able to just talk and just chill like that especially after a long day of classes. After dinner as we headed out I waved goodbye to the guys from the fellowship as the girls and I walked to leave. Not long after we left the cafeteria one of the guys ran after us asking if we were going to the fellowship meeting that night. I told him that I would but the other girls had plans. Then to my surprise he extended the invitation to the rest of them. For some weird reason I don't know why I never thought of that. I couldn't believe myself that I never even thought about inviting them in the first place. I guess I was too "caught up" in my own life that I forgot about the other people around me. Anyways after a long hard discussion and a bunch of pros and cons about whether or not coming to this meeting was the best idea the girls eventually came to the conclusion that it wouldn't hurt to try.
At the meeting I kept a cautious eye on them trying to make sure they welcomed by the people I introduced them to. I was excited to show them this part of my life yet at the same time I was nervous about what they would think. Through the sermon I had to admit I was glancing at them from time to time trying to see what they were thinking from what I could tell from the expressions on their faces. It was definitely embarrassing to think about now that I realize what I did. I still couldn't figure out what they were thinking. All I knew was that for the past few weeks they have been asking questions about the joy they see in me. They kept asking where I got it or why it seemed like I was so happy all the time despite my work load or the hardness of college life. I knew I shared a little bit about how Jesus was the one that fueled me every day, but was that enough? I tried to focus my attention on the sermon but I couldn't help but think about how they would be taking this in. Was it weird to them? Would they be asking me questions later? In my mind I had to just give it up to God and allow Him to be in control. After the sermon we prayed together in groups and it got pretty emotional for me as I prayed over my friends. My heart just longed for them to come into the family, I knew that God was calling them but I wasn't exactly sure how I could lead them. As I was drenched in tears one of our leaders came to our circle and asked my friends if they were Christians and they said no, but they wanted to be. With my heart overwhelmed with emotions I couldn't even utter a single word, so the leader had lead my friends to the prayer of accepting Jesus in their hearts. All that fear of them not understanding or thinking this was all weird didn't matter anymore, cuz they have just entered the family. I remember going back home feeling beyond overwhelmed at how God is working in my despite how broken I felt in my life. I didn't feel capable of doing anything He has called me to, but His glory shines all the more when He does the impossible. :)
So right now I am just really excited about the journey that's just beginning for my friends. I can't wait to see how God will impact their lives and I am thankful and honored to be a part of that time in their life. So no matter how broken you might think you are, God will still use you if you allow Him to. Because His glory will shine much brighter through it all.
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