Your Love Never Fails

I've been so busy with midterms these past two weeks that I haven't had much time updating my blog, sorry for ya'll who have been checking only to find it the same. Once again I thank you for all the support of those who read my blog I am overwhelmed and thankful to the Father who has given me such a great opportunity. :)

These past few weeks have definitely been a challenge for me. Transition isn't always the easiest thing neither is getting used to living alone. It's been a season of struggles for me personally just because of some much going on in my life, to top that off getting used to college wasn't exactly the cherry on top of the ice cream. I knew that there is something better out there that God has for me, it's been rough, yeah, but God always has a plan and no matter what happens He will never leave me. As I flipped through a page of the amount of reading I had to do that week I remember feeling just so lazy and tired about doing anything. I didn't want to do school, I wasn't passionate about what I did. It was hard to focus on studying about European encounters about Sub-Saharan Africa when you had other things that were occupying your thoughts. I wanted to break free from the chains of all the lies that were in my head or the stress that everything around me was putting in me. Then God brought an amazing opportunity through my youth group called: The Breakthrough retreat.

It was such an amazing experience. I would have never thought a few months back that I would be praise and worshiping with a group of believers from all over Korea all hungering for a more intimidate relationship with Jesus Christ. It was a weekend of breakthrough no doubt. God broke through many issues I had in my heart that I was dealing with. First He broke through my fear of rejection so that I could see His love. He made me realize how I constantly sought after approval from people around me. I began to see why I did certain things just to get their attention more like their approval cuz I wanted to feel love and accepted. On the first night God made it clear to me that I didn't have to do anything in order to gain His approval. He already loves me just the way I am and there is nothing I can do to make Him love me more or less than He already does. The next thing God broke through in my heart was my fear of failure. We Christians apparently fall into two categories when dealing with this issue. The first category is mediocrity, we get the feeling that we have to stay or do something because it is expected of us by our parents or the people around us. It's not something we are passionate about or anything like that, but because are scared of failing we would rather stay there than achieve the dreams God has for us. If we don't fall in that category then we fall in the religious one that even though we know we have failed we keep striving for God's love. And we feel like we would have nothing if we don't keep striving. Because of those fears we are left paralyzed that and we can't walk freely down the road God wants to take us down. One thing that Pastor Marcus (our speaker for the weekend) said that stuck out to me was "If you manifest failure, you reap failure." I started thinking about how in my life I sometimes feel in I'm in one category or the other. God showed me that I didn't have to be afraid of failing because as long as I am with Him I know I will never fail. And that I should have faith in the things God has given me. Through the weekend we were given so much affirmation in our identity in Christ. I knew God was planting a seed in my heart that would continue to grow from the time He broke through it in my heart. I was able to see how God sees me as He says in His word. We were given a bunch of verses that talks about our worth. One of my favorites comes from Deuteronomy 14:2 that says "for you are a people holy to the LORD your God. Out of all the peoples on the face of the earth, the LORD has chosen you to be his treasured possession." I am His treasured possetion, I no longer needed to do anything for anyone to look for approval or prove anything to anyone, and all I needed was to see Him. Little by little I started realizing my worth in Him and how He loves me soooo much! Then for our last session we talked about the fear of man in order to break through the power of God. Sometimes we don't see the power of God cuz we are too concerned about what people think. And that holds us back from being able to truly see the power of God come into action. I began to realize how I did that in my life. Everything started to make sense, why I did what I did because of all these fears in my heart. God broke through every one of them and met me at my level. His love filled my heart beyond comprehension and brought me pure joy. I can't imagine how much God has loved me and yet I go about life complaining about certain things I don't have. His love is like the sunrise that brings hope to His people, to those who were lost, but now can see the way. God's love will NEVER fail, as He promises in His word in 1 Corinthians 13:8. So we can faith in that. :)

That weekend was definitely a powerful one; I know my life will never be the same after that. When I came home I remembered offering up to God everything in my life. I wanted to live for Him and Him alone, no matter where He takes me I wanted to follow and do what He has called me to do. I got rid of things that were holding me down from my walk with Him. I also had to deal with certain relationships that were harming me from my walk with the Lord. Those were one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make, but I know I won't regret them. Cuz God always has a plan and no matter what happens He will NEVER leave my side. I know God has so much in store for me after that, but I didn't think I was coming so soon…

Stay tuned for the next blog post to see what God has done in my life that made me beyond overwhelmed :)